Mock Seaweed Salad

A cucumber in a flavor disguise

I am a serial cucumber salad-maker because they’re so easy and quick to put together, they’re crunchy and refreshing, and they’re versatile. I often throw them together in the summer, when it’s too hot to futz with a dressing or wash a bunch of lettuce. I’ll toss cucumbers with dill and apple cider vinegar (maybe, if I remember to do it, I’ll mellow a grated clove of garlic in the vinegar before adding everything else). I’ll mix them with lime juice, cilantro, green onion, and sliced serrano pepper. I’ll throw them in a bowl with chili crisp and nothing else. Cucumbers are vegetal chameleons.

This particular cucumber salad started its life in a similarly haphazard way, but we liked it so much I had to turn it into a recipe. I’m calling it “Mock Seaweed Salad” because the first time John tasted it he remarked, “So is there seaweed in this or what?” There is no seaweed in this recipe (although that’s negotiable), but the effect of the crunchy cucumbers with the toasted sesame oil and sugar is eerily reminiscent of the sushi restaurant classic.

This recipe involves a salting step for the cucumbers, which does two things: It seasons the cucumbers from the outside in, and it causes them to release some liquid. This makes the salad more flavorful, and as it sits it won't get so watery, which dilutes the flavor and makes for a less pleasant eating experience. We start the salting step first thing, then as the cucumbers sit we start preparing the rest of dinner. The salad can be finished in under five minutes once the salting is done.

After making this salad a couple times, you should be able to eyeball the quantities. It's very hard to mess up and should be made to your taste, so keep adding a pinch of this and a splash of that until it tastes the way you want it to. You can also vary the ingredients depending on what you have around. Sometimes I crumble up a roasted seasoned seaweed sheet on top (sold as "seaweed snacks" at most grocery stores), or add a sliced serrano or jalapeño pepper, chopped green onion, or cilantro. Persian cucumbers (sometimes sold as “baby cucumbers”) can be substituted for the English cucumber. You could use regular old American cucumbers too, but you’ll want to peel and seed them.

We’ll serve this salad with all kinds of proteins, from roast chicken to tofu, and I also recommend it on a bowl of rice with some canned tuna and spicy mayo. Happy cooking!

Mock Seaweed Salad

3 or 4 servings

Have ready:

1 English cucumber

Cut off and discard the ends, then cut the cucumber in half crosswise. Cut each half lengthwise into quarters, then cut the quarters crosswise into 1/2-inch pieces (or you can just roughly chop the cucumber and that will work too). Place in a strainer or colander and sprinkle with:

1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt or table salt (or 1 teaspoon Diamond kosher salt)

Toss the cucumbers with the salt to coat them evenly and let them sit in the sink or over a bowl for at least 15 minutes and up to 45 minutes. As the cucumbers sit they will release some water.

After at least 15 minutes, rinse the cucumbers under cold water and shake the colander to remove as much excess water as possible. Turn the cucumbers out onto a kitchen towel, pat dry, and transfer to a medium bowl. Add to the bowl:

1/2 packed cup arugula, finely chopped
1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds
1 1/2 tablespoons (4 1/2 teaspoons) rice vinegar
2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar

Taste for seasoning, adding a little more vinegar or sugar or sesame oil as desired. Serve immediately. This salad is best the day it is made, but leftovers will keep for one day.